Friday, February 6, 2009

The Complex Formula

Favorite customers of 2009 to date:

An older black couple approached the customer service desk and slammed their tickets for "Notorious" on the counter with disgust. With his nose turned upward, the gentleman said, "We just have NO interest in seeing any movie with the N-word."

What did you expect? It's the story of a crack dealer-turned-rapper from Brooklyn in the 1990s.

Know what you're getting into, folks. If you're offended by liberal commentary, don't watch a Michael Moore documentary. If you're uncomfortable with weed, don't watch "Pineapple Express." If you're upset by the combination of bad hair and awful jokes, don't see anything with Rob Schneider. It's not rocket science.


Marley & Me: Time Killer
Owen Wilson and Jennifer Anniston have zero chemistry, but the story is heartwarming, etc.

Gran Torino: Worth It
Clint Eastwood is quite the ornery old (racist) bastard in this film- actually, most of the movie is him grunting in disapproval. His character definitely has a little Dirty Harry thrown in, but with a little more emotional development.

Notorious: Worth It
This film made Tupac look damn crazy, but aside from that... It did a great job of telling Biggie's story. Go see it- you might learn a thing or two.

Taken: Worth It
Liam Neeson kicks serious ass. He's like James Bond meets Batman. The story was pretty decent too... This is a solid action film.

He's Just Not That Into You: Don't Encourage Them
This movie was, in every way, written to sound the cute alarm in every straight girl's brain. Don't be fooled- after trying to make a decent point of how love DOESN'T happen for two and a half hours, almost all the characters got their implausible happy ending. Barf.
Also, Greg Behrendt. Barf.

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