Oh, there's no place like work for the holidays

Sorry about the absence. I was sick, and then I was too busy to boot up my hoopti-ass laptop. It... takes awhile to do anything on this scraper.

If you, along with the rest of middle-class America, should decide to attend a movie on a holiday because you just CAN'T take any more of your family, please be so kind as to refrain from reminding the theater employees that they are working instead of being annoyed by their loved ones at home. Trust me, we haven't forgotten... And your pity is of little comfort. Unless it comes with pie.

No joke. One customer brought in a slice of pumpkin pie for the Customer Service manager. Best. Patron. Ever.


Looooooooong list of movies:

Max Payne: Don't Encourage Them
I was sorely disappointed in this one. The preview looked excellent, portraying the film as a story of spiritual war as the righteous dead avenged themselves. Turns out they were just hallucinations and a waste of my time.

Quantum of Solace: FTW
There has been some debate among critics as to the worth of this film compared to the rest of the franchise. True, he did not utter the signature "Bond. James Bond." line at any point during the movie, but I love the direction Daniel Craig is taking this character. Watch out, Connery. It's a whole new Bond.

Role Models: Worth It
Hilarious. Even better with a crazy man sitting down the row from you laughing at inappropriate times and speaking the obvious. I want to pay that guy to follow me around and narrate my life. Anyway... I'm not a huge Sean William Scott fan, but I can never say no to Jane Lynch. If you have ever worked with disturbed children, this film is for you.

Madagascar 2: Escape to Africa- Worth It
Much better than the original. It's packed full of jokes that will fly straight over the heads of whatever children you dragged along so you wouldn't look like the loser that still loves kids' movies well into adulthood, but don't worry. Those who have seen this movie will not be judging you. Oh, but. Everyone else will.

Four Christmases: Time Killer
Did you think the previews looked funny? That's because they did. Too bad the rest of the movie wasn't. It turned into a movie about relationships... So I went to see a comedy and got duped into a drama. There is nothing I hate more than being misled by the advertisements. Prime example? The Village. That shit pissed me off. It's a good psychological movie, but they advertised it as a horror. No lies. The studio sent us fake strips of blood to put on all the doors at our theater. So naturally I hated that movie for about the first two years following its release. The same applies to you, Four Christmases. The public is shelling out a ridiculous amount of money to see your sorry film, so they should at least know what they're paying for. Thumbs down.

Australia: Worth It
I was actually shocked when I found out Baz Luhrman was doing an epic. It seemed a bit out of character for him. But honestly, if I had not been told who directed the film prior to viewing it, I would have know by the time I left. There are little quirks and oddities throughout the film that just scream of him.
My problem with the film? 2 hours in, it was a complete story- start to finish. But then it went off on another tangent, tacking on an additional 45 minutes to the movie. Yes, they were making a valid political point, but I feel like it really could've been two movies.
That said, I was never bored. Go see it, but don't order the large drink. You won't want to miss any part of this film.

Nobel Son: Movie Fail
Wtf? The plot was all over the place. It seemed like a good idea, but it was very poorly executed. And the cheesy ending actually made me groan. Just ask my friend- it woke her up after sleeping through the second half of the film. Alan Rickman, you're better than that. So are you, Groove Armada... Although you're probably just thrilled somebody asked you to be in any movie score. It's been awhile.