Here's how the ratings work:
"Movie Fail"- Not even worth the time it takes to watch it.
Examples: Dead Silence, Gigli
"Don't Encourage Them"- ...Or they'll just make more movies like this. It's as terrible as the stale-ass popcorn you paid enitrely too much for. But if your heart is set on it for whatever reason, consider waiting for the DVD. Hell, maybe even sneak past Awkward McPimples at the theater* or buy a bootleg. But for the love of God, do not pay for a ticket.
Examples: Shanghai Noon, most Nicholas Cage movies
"Time-Killer"- Possibly worth watching if you have nothing better to do, but you might want to catch the matinée. Or see it at night, but don't take anyone you're trying to impress with your sophisticated taste in movies.
Examples: Mr. and Mrs. Smith, What Happens In Vegas
"Worth It"- Actually deserving of the time and money you invest. Maybe not cinema at its finest, but you won't be sorry if you pass your Saturday evening watching this.
Examples: Borat, Disturbia, Blades of Glory
"FTW"- Oh, you're too cool to know anyone that plays WoW? It means "for the win." This movie is fucking fantastic! See this one stat- everyone will be talking about it. If they aren't, you'll seem even cooler for being part of the elite. Win-win.
Examples: 300, Capote, Little Miss Sunshine
*Just know that if you get caught, you will likely be humiliated. We in the theater business prefer to take out all our frustrations with the shitty economy, or the epic hangover we're currently suffering, or walking in on the significant other banging the cable guy, etc. on the people we kick out. Just like that cop that was a total dick to you last week when he gave you a ticket for going seven over the speed limit.
Movie hop at your own risk.
2 comments:
That Chihuahua movie should totally get FTW. I hear it's awesome.
iron man deserves to be on the ftw list. i got on imdb to find a bunch of what i'm sure are 30 yr old, sci-fi watching, video game playing, living in moms basement types arguing about the fact that they should have explained why the g-force didn't affect him as well as maybe how his suit was designed to withstand this. i mean really... if only i were that cool, besides i just spent $19.99 on the movie.
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