This Just In: Unrealistic Skeleton Costume Scares Skank-Ass Bitches

So this Halloween, I was scheduled to work until about 1:15 am. No biggie, as I knew the party I was going to would last until at least 5 or 6. But it did mean I had to dress up. Or, at least, to avoid being categorized as the "lame" manager that doesn't know how to have any fun. I know I shouldn't care what floor staff think, but it's much easier to get things done when they don't despise you. But getting a costume? So much work. Even though I loved drama class in high school, I'm lazy. Back then, I pretty much made other people do my make-up. It turns out if you were a tomboy and you flailed your arms helplessly for long enough, straight girls would flock into the dressing room to save the day. I could pick out my own costume, but that was as far as my effort went.

My lethargy has progressed since then... So of course instead of putting together a real costume, I just picked up a skeleton hoodie from the boys' department at Wal-Mart that zipped over my face.





Eh. Good enough.

Anyway, I was leaning out the window into one theater to clean the outside of the glass well before the movie started, but two girls happened to be in there already. They saw me and started screaming, "OMIGOD WHAT IS THAT IS THAT A SKELETON OMIGOD IT'S OMIGOD WHY IS IT CLEANING JAYSUS CHRIST WHY IS THERE LIKE A SKELETON UP THERE WTFOMGIOD" etc. etc. I just looked at them, yelled "BOO!" and closed the window.

Movie time!


Flash Of Genius: Worth It
It's always hard to judge a true-story movie, because you can't really criticize events that actually happened. But this David vs. Goliath story keeps you interested, even though certain events (like the marriage trouble that is a direct result of his fight with Ford) don't feel right. I thought the portrayal of the whole thing was accurate though, and it was nice to see Greg Kinnear play something other than a douchebag.

Pride And Glory: Time Killer
*Confession: I was slightly inebriated by the end of this movie.
I love Ed Norton. I have since "Keeping the Faith." So I was pretty excited to see this, but the story took a long time to build and it wasn't really anything new. Good cops are expected to protect bad cops for the honor of the NYPD, blah blah blah. Whatever. There's better movies out right now.

High School Musical 3: Movie Fail
Surprised? I'd say go jump off a cliff, but don't worry. Natural selection will get you soon enough.

The Haunting of Molly Hartley: Don't Encourage Them
I thought it would be a movie fail, but they actually tried to bring in psychosis to explain visual and auditory hallucinations. They get some points for that. Not to worry- the ending contradicted the entire movie, which was mostly awful anyway. Wah Wah Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

Zack and Miri Make A Porno: Worth It!
The title actually varies with your location... I know in some states they're calling it "Zack and Miri Make A Movie." Anyway. This film is hilarious. I'm actually kind of surprised it wasn't rated NC-17, but I'll take it. The only reason this movie didn't get "FTW" is that it's nothing new for Seth Rogen. Kind of lame loser with loser friends fucks up, has an epiphany, wins in the end. It seems to be a winning formula for him, so I can't really blame him... Anyway. This movie is not for the faint of heart or the weak of stomach, and for the love of God don't see it with your parents. Or your priest.